A18 Conference
THE INNER CHATTER AND THE PSYCHOLOGICAL SONG
It is urgent, unpostponable, that we observe the internal dialogue and the precise place from which it comes. Undoubtedly, the wrong internal dialogue is the "Causa Causórum" of many disharmonious and unpleasant psychic states in the present and also in the future.
Obviously, that vain, insubstantial chatter of ambiguous talk and, in general, all harmful, damaging, absurd talk, manifested in the outside world, has its origin in the wrong internal conversation. If the wrong internal dialogue is observed, it will be seen that it is made of half-truths, or of truths that are related to each other in a more or less incorrect way, or something that was added or omitted.
Many are silent outwardly, but with their inner tongue they flay their neighbor alive. Venomous and malevolent inner chatter produces inner confusion. Unfortunately, our emotional life is based exclusively on "self-sympathy."
To top off so much infamy, we only sympathize with ourselves, with our so "dear Ego", and we feel antipathy and even hatred towards those who do not sympathize with us.
We love ourselves too much, we are narcissistic one hundred percent, this is irrefutable, unanswerable. As long as we continue bottled up in "self-sympathy," any development of the Self becomes more than impossible.
The esoteric practice of inner silence is known to exist on the Path; our students know this. It is worth saying with complete clarity that inner silence must refer specifically to something very precise and defined. We are really talking right now about a very different kind of inner silence.
It is not about something vague and general... We want to practice inner silence in relation to something that is already in the mind, person, event, own or other people's business, what we were told, what so-and-so did, etc., but without touching it with the inner tongue, without intimate discourse... Learning to be silent not only with the external tongue, but also, in addition, with the secret, internal tongue, is extraordinary, wonderful.
When the thinking process is intentionally exhausted during deep inner meditation, inner silence is achieved; but this is not what we want to explain in the present chapter. "Emptying the mind" or "blanking it out" to truly achieve inner silence is also not what we are trying to explain now in these paragraphs. Practicing the inner silence we are referring to also does not mean preventing anything from entering the mind.
We need to learn to see the other person's point of view. It is urgent to know how to put ourselves in the position of others. "So all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them." (Matthew: VII, 12).
What truly counts in these studies is the way men behave internally and invisibly with each other. Unfortunately, and even though we may be very courteous and even sincere at times, there is no doubt that invisibly and internally we treat each other very badly.
Apparently very kind people daily drag their fellow men into their own secret cave, to do with them whatever they please (vexations, mockery, scorn, etc.).
THE PSYCHOLOGICAL SONG
The time has come to reflect very seriously on what is called "internal consideration." There is no doubt about the disastrous aspect of "intimate self-consideration"; this, in addition to hypnotizing the conscience, makes us lose a lot of energy.
If one did not make the mistake of identifying so much with oneself, inner self-consideration would be more than impossible. When one identifies with oneself, one loves oneself too much, feels sorry for oneself, self-considers, thinks that one has always behaved very well with so-and-so, with so-and-so, with the woman, with the children, etc., and that nobody has been able to appreciate it, etc. In short, one is a saint and everyone else is wicked, scoundrels.
One of the most common forms of intimate self-consideration is worrying about what others may think about oneself; perhaps they assume that we are not honest, sincere, truthful, brave, etc. The most curious thing about all this is that we lamentably ignore the enormous loss of energy that this kind of worry brings us. Many hostile attitudes towards certain people who have done us no harm are precisely due to such concerns born of intimate self-consideration.
Identified with oneself, one feels very sorry for one's own situation and even starts to keep accounts. This is how one thinks that so-and-so, what's-his-name, the buddy, the godmother, the neighbor, the boss, the friend, etc., etc., etc., have not paid him as they should despite all his well-known kindnesses, and, bottled up in this, he becomes unbearable and boring for everyone. With such a subject, you practically can't talk because any conversation is sure to end up in his little book of accounts and his much-touted sufferings.
If we observe people, we can directly see that each person has their own song. Each one sings their own psychological song; I want to emphatically refer to the issue of psychological accounts: feeling that one is owed, complaining, self-considering, etc.
Sometimes people "sing their song, just because," without being wound up, without being encouraged, and on other occasions after a few glasses of wine... In these circumstances, loving oneself so much, self-considering in this way, it is clear that the I, or rather we should say the I's, instead of being extinguished, are then strengthened frightfully.
If someone lives from instant to instant, from moment to moment, suffering for what they are owed, for what was done to them, for the bitterness they were caused, always with their same song, nothing can grow inside them. The feeling that one is owed, the pain for the evils that others caused them, etc., stops all inner progress of the soul.
In matters of Revolutionary Psychology, someone who sings too well—we are not referring to the beautiful voice, nor to the physical singing—certainly cannot go beyond themselves; they remain in the past... A person hindered by sad songs cannot change their Level of Being; they cannot go beyond what they are. To move to a Higher Level of Being, it is necessary to stop being what one is; we need not be what we are. If we continue to be what we are, we will never be able to move to a Higher Level of Being.
In the realm of practical life, unusual things happen. Very often, any person befriends another simply because it is easy for them to sing their song. Unfortunately, such relationships end when the singer is asked to be quiet, to change the record, to talk about something else, etc. Then, the resentful singer goes in search of a new friend, someone who is willing to listen to them indefinitely.
The singer demands understanding, someone to understand them, as if it were so easy to understand another person. To understand another person, it is necessary to understand oneself. Unfortunately, the good singer believes they understand themselves.
However, not all singers are public; there are also reserved ones. They don't sing their song directly, but sing it more secretly. They are people who have worked a lot, who have suffered too much, feel disappointed, and think that life owes them everything they were never able to achieve. They usually feel an inner sadness, a sense of monotony and dreadful boredom, intimate weariness, or frustration around which thoughts pile up.
Undoubtedly, secret songs block our path on the road to Intimate Self-Realization of the Being. Unfortunately, such secret inner songs go unnoticed by themselves unless we intentionally observe them. Obviously, all self-observation allows light to penetrate oneself, into one's intimate depths. No inner change could occur in our psyche unless it is brought to the light of self-observation.
It is written that, in the Inner Esoteric Work, soulful growth is only possible through forgiveness of others. The Lord's Prayer has said: "Forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors."
Jesus, the Great KABIR, said: "Agree with your adversary quickly, while you are with him on the way, lest the adversary deliver you to the judge, and the judge to the officer, and you be cast into prison. Assuredly, I say to you, you will not get out of there until you have paid the last quadrant." (Matthew, V, 25, 26). If they owe us, we owe. If we demand to be paid to the last penny, we must first pay to the last quadrant. This is the "Law of Talion", "Eye for eye and tooth for tooth". "Vicious circle", absurd.
Apologies, fulfilled satisfaction, and the humiliations we demand from others for the harm they caused us are also demanded of us, even if we consider ourselves "meek sheep." Placing oneself under unnecessary laws is absurd; it is better to put oneself under new influences.
The Law of Mercy is a higher influence than the Law of the violent man: "An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth." It is urgent, indispensable, and cannot be postponed to intelligently place ourselves under the marvelous influences of Inner Esoteric Work, to forget what is owed to us, and to eliminate any form of self-consideration in our psyche. We must never admit feelings of revenge, resentment, negative emotions, anxieties about the harm caused to us, violence, envy, incessant remembrance of debts, etc., etc., etc., within ourselves.
This path is intended for those sincere aspirants who truly want to work and change. We say that our boring song must be eliminated; it incapacitates us internally, robbing us of much energy. It is essential to observe oneself while alone, as well as when in relationship with people.
When one is alone, very different "selves," very distinct thoughts, negative emotions, etc., arise. One is not always well-accompanied when alone. It is only normal, very natural, to be very poorly accompanied in complete solitude. The most negative and dangerous "selves" appear when one is alone. If we want to transform radically, we need to sacrifice our own sufferings. Many times we express our sufferings in articulated or inarticulate songs.